Fly Me Back.

Trials, check; HSC, check; pack up room and luggage to go back to KL, check; get myself an internship when i get back to KL, check; . . .

yes i'm back in Kl, have been for the past month, will be for the next two months.
working at UOB Kay Hian as an intern, boredfucked outta my mind. . . . actually not really, i have alotta work, but its boring work. and there's no access to Facebook or Youtube or any games in the world no thanks to the ridiculously tight security system on the internet. FML.

so right now, i'm sitting in my cubicle, reminiscing the night we danced together, the night where all worries were forgotten, where the jampacked room felt empty. . . just us against the music.

fly me back to Space.

lit the candle.

it breaks my heart to see the world, today, so full of cynicism, depression, hate, jealousy,arrogance, violence. . . . and it has shaped the people today, so different from way back in the days when life was so simple, back in the days when my parents were just kids and they would tell me about what simplistic lives they lived. where their worries only narrows down to having enough food to keep them alive, poverty, and having a sense of community, a family. it was everything in the world to them. those were the most important things that made them happy.

but if you look at the world today, you flip through your morning papers and find that another death hits the front page. these actions that ppl do, are a result from the negative values possessed by the cold, selfish, cynical thing we call the 'modern day society'.

i just found out this morning that a friend of mine whose father recently commited suicide and passed away due to severe depression. its such devastating news to me and it upsets me to know that these things actually do happen and that there are ppl out there that suffers from countless types of mental illness and issues that results in a loss of life. yes i know of it, yes i hear it on the news, yes i have done studies on the statistics of suicidal deaths, i watch it on tv all the time, ppl talk about it. but it has never moved me like today's news moved me. it never affected me until it happened to someone that i was in some way connected to. and because of that, it has reminded me that life really is WAY TOO SHORT.

we should be filling up the multiple voids in our lives caused by hate instead with love, faith and hope. we should never hate people before we find out that there are a million things to love about that particular person. "never judge the book by its cover". i know there's nothing more cliche than that but its true.

bible study during lunch today was good, it was what made me write what i have to write in this post and Jake's family will be in my prayers and may his dad rest in peace.

HOLIDAYS!

Its is Easter break! finally, and the half yearlies are OVER! its like i can finally fly with my wings which were ties down so tightly for the past two weeks.

on top of that, my dad also came down to Sydney from KL. so that means staying at the Westin hotel in the city for the entire week! Woohoo! especialy being so close to the huge variety of stores just makes you feel like you're in paradise. :D

so just a little sneakpeek into my Easterbreak Week 1:

Monday
Ada might be coming down to the city to watch a movie with me.

Tuesday
Ada and Vee coming down to the city for a girls day out with coffee, chats and SHOPPING!

Wednesday
The Eastershow with Charmaine and possibly some of her uni frens. (for those of you that dunno what the Eastershow is, it is a carnival that goes on for two weeks every year during the Easter season. obviously because its called the 'Eastershow', and it has things like goodies bags, rides, little stores with other goodies which you could buy, shows, farm animals, etc).
Then at night hopefully i'd still have the energy to go to either the Eastern at Bondi Junction or Home in the city.

Thursday
DFO (Direct Factory Outlet) with Nicole in Homebush!!! more shopping!

Friday
Chill day with possibly Space or Bamboo with Brian and Melissa

Saturday
checking outta the hotel :((((((( daddy's leaving back to KL and going back to Matraville. sigh.

well that's the plan so far for the up coming week but hopefully it all happens. you know how sometimes the things you plan dun always go smoothly as you want it to. . but its definitely an exciting week to look forward too!!

3 down. 3 to go.


i miss the times when i was young and life never seemed less painful.

Belonging . . . . my ass

I'm sitting at my desk at 4.07am trying to digest this 'Belonging' bullshit which we're gonna be tested on today during our English exam at 9am.

F**k Australian English. . . -.-

if only. . .

if only trees weren't green.
if only the sky isn't blue.
if only birds don't fly.
if only the sun never comes up.
if only i never moved to Sydney
if only i was still 14 when things were going great with you.
if only i never went back to high school.
if only i never said or do those things that i wanna take back so badly.
if only i gave a little more away.
if only there was you. . .

but reality kicks in everytime. because..

the trees are green.
the sky is blue.
birds do fly.
the sun does come up.
i did move to Sydney.
i'm no longer 14 and i don't know you anymore
i did go back to high school.
i did say or do those things and there's no way of taking them back
i didn't give enough away
and i don't have you.

there are so many things that i could've changed in my life and would've led me down another path. the truth of the matter is. . . you can't change history. but you CAN change the future. in the past coupla years, i've learnt that whatever you do today, is a gift for tomorrow. . . .shit happens in life, but nobody ever said that life would be perfect. we just gotta appreciate the wonders of life, the good or bad, the highs or lows. and stop complaining about what you could've done.

so yes, i went back to high school. i was hella cranky about that fact at first, being a year behind, hanging around younger people was a waste of my time, high school was bull shit, my life was a shithole. but then i realised that it isn't all that bad. i've got to know such beautiful and caring people with unbelievably warm hearts that just drowns all my hatred away. people that wants to get to know you and be there for you, its all i ever needed.

unfinished business

ok its been a veeeeery long time since i last blogged. i closed down my previous blog page like what. . . 3 years ago? and i feel like i have alot to say lately so i guess i suddenly decided to go back to pouring my spining twirly thoughts onto this page. sorry if you have to put up with it. but then if you dun like it then fuck off. dun read it. :P

i dunno why i open up a new blogger site in the middle off my HALF YEARLIES EXAM. i have great timing i know. -.- i guess i just had a 3 hr paper today on how injured athletes should manage their injuries and that knocked a few things into my head today. like for instance, when i went for a walk with Ada Lo today (which is what we usually do in the evenings during exam times so we can clear our heads from hrs of sitting at the table and facing books), i've was a little crazy when i acted like a moron while walking on the streets with ppl driving pass giving us weird looks.

PDHPE knocks psycho-ness into ppl - don't say i didn't warn you.