if only. . .

if only trees weren't green.
if only the sky isn't blue.
if only birds don't fly.
if only the sun never comes up.
if only i never moved to Sydney
if only i was still 14 when things were going great with you.
if only i never went back to high school.
if only i never said or do those things that i wanna take back so badly.
if only i gave a little more away.
if only there was you. . .

but reality kicks in everytime. because..

the trees are green.
the sky is blue.
birds do fly.
the sun does come up.
i did move to Sydney.
i'm no longer 14 and i don't know you anymore
i did go back to high school.
i did say or do those things and there's no way of taking them back
i didn't give enough away
and i don't have you.

there are so many things that i could've changed in my life and would've led me down another path. the truth of the matter is. . . you can't change history. but you CAN change the future. in the past coupla years, i've learnt that whatever you do today, is a gift for tomorrow. . . .shit happens in life, but nobody ever said that life would be perfect. we just gotta appreciate the wonders of life, the good or bad, the highs or lows. and stop complaining about what you could've done.

so yes, i went back to high school. i was hella cranky about that fact at first, being a year behind, hanging around younger people was a waste of my time, high school was bull shit, my life was a shithole. but then i realised that it isn't all that bad. i've got to know such beautiful and caring people with unbelievably warm hearts that just drowns all my hatred away. people that wants to get to know you and be there for you, its all i ever needed.